Trigger/content warnings for depression, suicide attempt, suicide thoughts, panic attacks, loss of a loved one, grief, and loss. She's somehow joined a photography course class and become friends with an 80-year-old lady, who just happens to be the grandmother of Biz' new friend, Jasper. She loses her friends, and her best friend Grace and she are now known as sluts at their school, causing both to create chaos. She continues to speak to her dad, who sits at the edge of her bed and reminds her of times when she was little. After this, Biz begins to encounter different thoughts, things and is a whole different Elizabeth. She thinks she wouldn't be able to be part of her group, The Posse, anymore, because she can be labeled as crazy, weird, or a freak.īut after an encounter at a party, Biz has some sort of connection with the sea, being able to talk to the waves and understand what they are saying, slowly making their way up her body as it begins to take her over. She also doesn't tell them about her dad and how she's able to see him, talk to him like he never died in the first place. She doesn't tell her friends about the time she kissed her best friend, Grace, or about the time the new boy, Jasper, made her feel guilty for talking to him because of his leg.

She has thoughts wandering in her head that she doesn't tell others about. Why are you so sad and empty when you have a house with walls and a roof and people who love you?īiz says she's okay. She numbs the pain by talking to the ocean and the waves, looking at photographs and understanding the messages they carry. She has created a character who carries pain in her life and wonders what she did to deserve this, finding the clues and answers on her own, as her mental health is carried away by them.

Helena Fox has created a powerful portrayal of mental illness and how it affects daily life even when that individual is not aware of it. But even then, reading this allowed me to think differently, and accept that everything will be okay, even if I don't believe it and even if no one else believes it. I feel like I have found a new favorite, but it is the type that can't be read again, as the anguish and pain experienced is not something I want to experience again. Reading this book made me feel like I was being pinned to a wall to witness the events the main character was feeling, seeing her struggle and not getting the answers she needed, as if reading about them was not enough. This is the type of book that gives you a tangible feeling of pain, making you feel empty like there's no more space left for you to process the emotions you are currently feeling. You can pull it out, hold it in your hand.

Helena fox how it feels to float